Wish I Could Have Said Goodbye is an extraordinary novel about one family's struggle to make sense of their world after losing a family member to addiction. Through sixteen-year-old Carmella's eyes, we witness the courage and strength it takes to overcome the consequences of grief, guilt and co-dependency. WIth conviction and determination, Carmella shows us what can happen when we're open to love, feel the pain of our loss, and find the courage to accept the truth of our lives.
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What do I really think of this book? I think it's sad, with little undertones of happiness at the best of times. It's romantic, and at some points, a down-right tearjerker.
It never lets you forget that first little bit that we learn about Mello. That her and her sister made lists, and those lists were all at once the best and worst part of Mello's life, after her sister died. Now she has no one to make lists with, so she writes them for herself.
Mello was a good character, but she tried to run away from everything that was going wrong, everything that was messed up, and everything that she didn't like. She even ran away from those she loved. Anybody can tell you that you can't run forever, and that true love is worth fighting for.
They might even tell you that love conquers all, and that all you need is love, but that's not the point. The point is, you can't run forever, and Mello is just starting to discover that she doesn't have to lie, and she doesn't have to run.
Because there are people out there that you don't need to hide from. Who accept you for who you are, and if they don't, they're probably not worth your time.
I loved Howie. He was sweet, and funny, and he never, ever let the idea of Mello that he had in his mind go, until she was standing right in front of him. He knew that she could be alright, but he also didn't know what she was hiding from, so he really didn't understand her at all, until the end.
I found this book to be a turbulent, emotional ride, that reads like a future bestseller. I would recommend this book for fans of Deb Calletti, and Sarah Dessen.
*Book provided by the author for review. Props to the author for signing it!
Sometimes I think you have experiences in your life where for whatever reason, good or bad, a memory gets drawn into a person's DNA with a permanent marker. Tonight was one of those nights.